What Comparing Yourself to Others Really Costs
Look, I’m no expert on this. I’ve spent way too many nights staring at my phone, scrolling past pictures of families laughing on vacations while my own kids were asleep in their beds after I’d finally fixed the leaky faucet. I’d compare my tired, messy reality to the highlight reel of someone else’s life. Here’s what I figured out: it cost me more than I ever thought.
What did I gain? Nothing real. Just a hollow feeling of “not enough.” I’d chase some imaginary standard—like how that neighbor’s kid got into college early or how his wife never seemed stressed. I’d tell myself, If I just did that, I’d be better. But all I really gained was a headache and a sleepless night. I’d skip dinner with my kids to “fix” my own life, thinking I needed to be more like someone else.
What did I give up? My own peace. I gave up noticing my daughter’s first real smile when she finally mastered her bike. I gave up the quiet moment with my son after I’d helped him with his math homework, because I was too busy comparing my progress to a guy on Facebook who’d “got it all figured out.” I gave up my own rhythm, my own pace. I was so busy measuring myself against others that I forgot to measure my own wins.
Was it worth it? Hell no. I’d rather have the messy, real moments with my kids than the perfect, empty ones I was chasing. I realized comparison isn’t just a waste of time—it’s a theft. It steals your joy, your focus, and your ability to see what’s right in front of you.
Now? I still see those perfect posts. But I close the app. I look at my kids’ scraped knees and the way they laugh over burnt toast for breakfast. I remember: my life isn’t a competition. It’s a series of small, hard, beautiful moments. You just do the next thing. Not the next thing someone else is doing.
— Jimmy Hawkins, just a dad figuring it out
— Roger Jackson, finally at peace with the man in the mirror