Revision as of 23:32, 1 January 2026

How to Accept Myself

My name is Roger Jackson. I'm sixty-three years old, and I wasted forty of those years wishing I was someone else.

I was an alcoholic from twenty-two to forty-eight. Twenty-six years of blackouts, broken promises, and bridges burned. I lost two marriages, three jobs, and more friendships than I can count. I spent those years hating myself—which, ironically, gave me a great excuse to keep drinking.

Sobriety didn't fix everything. I expected to get sober and suddenly like myself. That's not how it works. The drinking stopped, but the person in the mirror was still the same guy who'd done all those things. Accepting him—accepting myself—that was a different journey entirely.

It's been fifteen years since my last drink. In that time, I've worked with hundreds of people in recovery, and here's what I've noticed: the ones who make it aren't the ones who become someone new. They're the ones who finally accept who they've always been.

This wiki is about that. Not changing yourself into someone acceptable. Accepting the self you already are—including the parts you wish were different.

Where to Start

If you're struggling to accept yourself:

The Things We Can't Accept — Start by naming them.
Why Self-Acceptance Feels Like Giving Up — It isn't. Here's why.
The Paradox of Acceptance — You change most by accepting what is.

If you've made mistakes:

Accepting Your Past — You can't change it. Now what?
When You're The Problem — Sometimes we are. That's still okay.
Living With What You Did — Not denial. Not punishment. Something in between.

If you're fighting yourself:

The War Inside — Why we turn against ourselves.
The Inner Critic — That voice isn't helping. Here's how to quiet it.
Befriending Your Flaws — They're part of the package.

If you want peace:

What Self-Acceptance Actually Looks Like — It's not what you think.
The Serenity of Acceptance — The thing they talk about in meetings.
Growing While Accepting — You can do both.

A Note on This Wiki

I didn't come to self-acceptance through therapy or meditation or some spiritual breakthrough. I came to it through exhaustion. I got tired of hating myself. Tired of running. Tired of pretending to be someone I wasn't.

The relief when I finally stopped fighting—I can't describe it. It wasn't happiness exactly. It was more like setting down a weight I'd been carrying for decades.

This wiki is for people who are carrying that weight. Who are tired of the war. Who want to know if there's another way.

There is. It's not easy. But it's simpler than you'd think.

— Roger Jackson, finally at peace with the man in the mirror

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-= Accepting Myself =
+<span class="wikivoice-config" data-narrator="Roger Jackson"></span>
+= How to Accept Myself =
-Welcome, dear friend. Whether you’re here because you’ve been hard on yourself all day, or because you’re just starting to wonder if you deserve kindness—this space is for you. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need to be “fixed.” This wiki is a gentle companion on the journey of learning to accept yourself, exactly as you are, right now. No judgment, no rush. Just a little corner of the internet where you can breathe and remember: *you are enough*.
+My name is Roger Jackson. I'm sixty-three years old, and I wasted forty of those years wishing I was someone else.
-We’ve gathered simple, real-world practices that actually work—no fancy jargon, just what helps when you’re in the thick of it. Here are a few places to begin:
+I was an alcoholic from twenty-two to forty-eight. Twenty-six years of blackouts, broken promises, and bridges burned. I lost two marriages, three jobs, and more friendships than I can count. I spent those years hating myself—which, ironically, gave me a great excuse to keep drinking.
-=== Start with One Small, Kind Action ===
+Sobriety didn't fix everything. I expected to get sober and suddenly like myself. That's not how it works. The drinking stopped, but the person in the mirror was still the same guy who'd done all those things. Accepting him—accepting myself—that was a different journey entirely.
-You don’t need to overhaul your life today. Try this: *for one minute, speak to yourself like you’d speak to a friend who’s hurting*. Maybe it’s noticing when you say, “I’m so stupid,” and gently replacing it with, “I’m learning.” [[Small Steps, Big Shifts]] is a great place to start—no pressure, just tiny moments of grace.
-=== Notice Your Inner Critic (Without Fighting It) ===
+It's been fifteen years since my last drink. In that time, I've worked with hundreds of people in recovery, and here's what I've noticed: the ones who make it aren't the ones who become someone new. They're the ones who finally accept who they've always been.
-That voice saying, “You’re not good enough”? It’s not your enemy—it’s just a scared part of you trying to protect you. Next time it speaks, pause and ask: *“What is this trying to keep me safe from?”* [[Listening to Your Inner Critic]] walks you through this without shame. You’re not failing for having that voice—you’re growing by noticing it.
-=== Treat Yourself Like a Guest ===
+This wiki is about that. Not changing yourself into someone acceptable. Accepting the self you already are—including the parts you wish were different.
-Imagine a dear friend walked into your home, exhausted and overwhelmed. What would you offer them? A warm drink? A quiet space? [[Self-Compassion for Beginners]] shares how to do that for *yourself*—no “shoulds,” just simple acts like taking a 5-minute walk outside or writing one thing you *appreciate* about your body today.
-=== Find Your People (Even If It’s Just One) ===
+== Where to Start ==
-You don’t have to do this alone. Reach out to someone who makes you feel seen—maybe a friend, a support group, or even a pet. [[Finding Your Tribe]] is a gentle guide to connecting without fear of being “too much.” And if you’re not ready to talk? Just knowing others are walking this path with you is a quiet comfort.
-This isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about uncovering the person you’ve always been—worthy, imperfect, and deeply human. Some days will feel like a breakthrough. Others? You’ll stumble. And that’s okay. Every time you choose kindness over criticism, you’re building a home inside yourself.
+'''If you're struggling to accept yourself:'''
+* [[The Things We Can't Accept]] — Start by naming them.
+* [[Why Self-Acceptance Feels Like Giving Up]] — It isn't. Here's why.
+* [[The Paradox of Acceptance]] — You change most by accepting what is.
-We’re so glad you’re here. Take your time. You’ve already taken the bravest step: *showing up for yourself*.
+'''If you've made mistakes:'''
+* [[Accepting Your Past]] — You can't change it. Now what?
+* [[When You're The Problem]] — Sometimes we are. That's still okay.
+* [[Living With What You Did]] — Not denial. Not punishment. Something in between.
-*— With warmth,
+'''If you're fighting yourself:'''
-The Accepting Myself Community*
+* [[The War Inside]] — Why we turn against ourselves.
+* [[The Inner Critic]] — That voice isn't helping. Here's how to quiet it.
+* [[Befriending Your Flaws]] — They're part of the package.
-*P.S. You might also find comfort in [[My Body, My Home]] or [[When Acceptance Feels Impossible]]. We’re all learning together.*
+'''If you want peace:'''
+* [[What Self-Acceptance Actually Looks Like]] — It's not what you think.
+* [[The Serenity of Acceptance]] — The thing they talk about in meetings.
+* [[Growing While Accepting]] — You can do both.
+== A Note on This Wiki ==
+I didn't come to self-acceptance through therapy or meditation or some spiritual breakthrough. I came to it through exhaustion. I got tired of hating myself. Tired of running. Tired of pretending to be someone I wasn't.
+The relief when I finally stopped fighting—I can't describe it. It wasn't happiness exactly. It was more like setting down a weight I'd been carrying for decades.
+This wiki is for people who are carrying that weight. Who are tired of the war. Who want to know if there's another way.
+There is. It's not easy. But it's simpler than you'd think.
+''— [[User:Roger_Jackson|Roger Jackson]], finally at peace with the man in the mirror''
+[[Category:Main]]